The public debut of new songs

One of the biggest things that fear has crippled me from is writing songs. I've written pieces for handbells, arranged a few things here and there for choirs, and written organ music. Fear came in through a lot of different voices in my head. The main voice came in writing lyrics. I don't feel confident in doing that. So, the 3 songs that I wrote that I sang last night, I took the words to "Holy, Holy, Holy" and wrote a new melody, and a little chorus to go with it. The second, I took 1 Corinthians 13 and made a few alterations. The last song was original. The chorus started off with an idea my 4 year old was singing, and I developed it around God's promises to us.

 So, I get up in front of the people gathered, most of them I know, introduce myself, explain my 3 songs and sing them. I figured people would politely applaud, and they did. What I didn't expect that as the songs went on......people SANG ALONG! And it was mostly the right notes! Now, I've sung in front of people plenty of times in my life. I've performed in a lot of settings, and all bringing some variety of nervousness. Last night was wracked with nervousness, fear and anxiety. Why? I made myself vulnerable. I put 3 songs that were only heard by my wife out there for public consumption. That's SCARY!

 Now what? I survived. I rejoice in that. Am I going to be Chris Tomlin and focus on that? Probably not. I do intend and want to keep writing organ music, piano music, choral music, handbell music, instrumental music and songs. This was a huge hurdle that I needed to do and survive. I did, and I thank God for it.

 One of the things that I was reminded of is my role in all of this. Growing up, I always wanted to be the rock star. As an organist, I always wanted to play as loud and bombastic as possible. All about me. Somewhere along the way, I realized that it wasn't about me. I was called to encourage people, and that's what I have tried to do. I've fallen miserably short in lots of ways, I've neglected my own musicianship, and I haven't done enough. But, when my friend Brandon shared in front of the same audience that my encouragement was the reason that he went back to church and because of my prodding, he got back into music ministry, and ended up recording his CD, I was fighting back tears. See, that's why I do what I do. Sure, I love writing music, and I love singing songs, and worshipping. But, to me, the most important thing about what I do, the thing that I love the most about what I do, is seeing OTHERS succeed, not me. While at times I feel frustrated that I'm not doing what I think I should be doing, or I'm having to do a few extra things to pay the bills, I have to change my attitude. It's added opportunities to encourage others. I lose sight of this all too often, and it is my daily prayer that I serve God and others with all of my heart, soul, mind, strength and ability.