Hey you!

Hey you!

Yes, you.

While I may not know you, or I may have known you for many years. I have something important to tell you.

Come close.

Are you listening?

I

love

you!

Isn't that cool?

But it's even more than that.

God

loves

you!

He created you! He redeemed you! He's by your side! He loves you!

But there's even more.

You have talent!

We all do! There's something that God has created us to do, something deep inside of us that makes us whole, makes us full!

There's another thing.

You are beautiful.

You may not like parts of your body. Your nose may have been broken and now it looks crooked. Who cares? You're you. You're the most beautiful you that you can be.

One last thing.

You are special.

You're the only you on the planet. Sure, there may be others that share your name, but you're distinct in your DNA, your experiences, likes, dislikes, everything!

So, to sum up:

I love you, God loves you, you have talent, you are beautiful and you are special.

Now. What are you going to do with those things?

I am choosing to spread them to the world. Find one person today and say these things to them.

Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

 So today, Reformation Sunday in the Lutheran church, I played Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor. This is 9+ minutes of ongoing busyness. I spent about 2 months in focused practice to prepare for today.

 Why this piece? There are a couple of reasons. First, Bach was a Lutheran church musician. So it's quite fitting to tie in to Reformation Sunday. Second, I had been feebly "attempting" to learn this piece since college. That consisted of trying to play the piece, failing miserably, and giving up. Another 6-8 months go by, and repeat. A year goes by and repeat. Third, it's the week of Halloween. The Toccata and Fugue have been corrupted as "Halloween music". It's not. It's one of Bach's top compositions, at least in my mind.

 Why this particular day? Obviously the reasons I mentioned in the previous paragraph, but there's much more. I've been "reforming" my attitude toward playing the organ, and this Sunday seemed to be the best culmination of that. I had become great at listening to the negative voices, whether real, perceived or in my head over the past few years, and had not challenged myself to play new pieces. If I did, I stuck to hymn improvisations by composers I knew and liked. I mean, really, I've been playing the organ for worship services for 20 years. Do I really need to learn new music?

YES I DO!

Why?

I've been given a talent from God. It's sinful if I don't use it and work on it to be better.

It's my job. I am paid to be a professional musician, and if I don't take pride in myself and my abilities (given by God), that reflects in my "professionalism".

It's actually fun to take on a challenge and work at it, see improvement, and build on that.

It makes things easier overall. As I was working on the variations on "Holy God We Praise Your Name" for last Sunday, as well as this piece, I noticed that my overall musicianship seemed to fall into place like it used to. Why? I was paying attention to details. I was working on skills that I had been neglected for a while now.



So? How did it go?

I played it as my prelude for both worship services. It wasn't perfect. I didn't expect it to be. It didn't bomb either! In fact, those spots that had given me the most trouble throughout the years, those reasons why I quit working on it from time to time, went as smooth as one could expect. I even received applause after playing it for the 10:45 service! That was totally shocking! Overall, the hard work put in reaped rewards. Now, I could puff up my chest and say, "Look at how good I am! All my hard work paid off." Me. Me. Me. It's not about me. It's about God. He's the giver of the gift. For far too long, I have neglected that gift. And just a couple of months of focused effort have led to some positive changes. I'm excited about what's next.


So? What is next?

I'm going to be doing an organ/piano/vocal concert on December 8th. That will be really fun. I've got some fun Advent/Christmas pieces I'm working on, religious and lightly irreligious. As for what challenge I may take on next, I'm either leaning toward a Buxtehude piece, to work my fingers some more, or some romantic period organ music, as that fits the organ I play. And because it's far from my first choice in organ repertoire.


No matter what the task, it can be accomplished. It may take a lot of focused effort, or it may take time, but it can be accomplished. Whether it's music, or any other task, it can be accomplished. And I thank God for reminding me of this truth.

I'm stuck?

    My almost 2 year old daughter Emily likes to say, "I'm stuck" a lot lately. In reality, she's not quite stuck. She may need a boost on whatever she's climbing, or her chair scooted a little farther back so she can continue to get down. But she's not really stuck.

    I've been feeling a lot like Emily lately.

    I've felt stuck.

    I feel like I'm making progress in getting healthier, challenging myself to be a better musician through practice, composing music.

    But I feel stuck.

    Why?

    As I was pondering this, the answer came to me quite quickly. When you've been as lazy as I have, not expected much of yourself, built bad habits, and quit every time a small challenge came up, it's easy to understand why I'm feeling stuck.


     My habits and expectations of myself are changing.

     I'm expecting more of myself.

     But the challenges are still there.

     The fear of quitting is still there.

     The fear of falling back into those traps of "good enough" are there

     But I'm not giving in. Just like with Emily, she needs a refocus on the bigger picture, that she's not really stuck, I need this as well. How does this happen? Encouragement from God. Encouragement from others. Digging deeper and pushing through.

     I will find creative solutions to the decreasing numbers participating in the music ministry I am called to lead.

     I will challenge myself to be a better organist and musician, putting in the time needed to prepare and practice.

    I will compose music that is challenging, beautiful and will connect those singing and playing it to God.

    I will find ways to get my name and my music out there, to connect with people on a greater scale.

    How all of this works out, time will tell. But I'm not stuck. And I'm not going to allow myself to think that. Challenged, absolutely. Stuck? No way.

Captured by The Digital Age

               Starting today, I am going to take each Friday and pick a song and share it as well as some thoughts about the song. Because I get to see these guys play live tonight, along with Bellarive and my good friend Matt Adler, I thought I'd start with "Captured" by The Digital Age.

Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG9K0lUDwI0

And the lyrics:

Love, You've captured me again
Love, You steal my heart

And oh when I reach out
You're always there
You've captured me again
Oh God
You steal my heart
And oh when I reach out
You're always there

Cause love has come to rescue me
Your love has come to set me free
Your love, love is all I need
Your love
Hey!

Love, You've captured me again
Oh my God
You steal my heart
And oh when I cry out
You're always there

Cause love has come to rescue me
Your love has come to set me free
Your love, love is all I need
Your love

Your love has come to rescue me
Your love has come to set me free
Your love, love is all I need
Your love

I've never felt more found
Than when I'm lost in you
My head may spin around
Like the stars of the night sky do

Your love has come to rescue me
Your love has come to set me free
Your love, love is all I need
Your love
 

 This song is one of my favorites, and a favorite in my house because of the video. My 4 and a half year old and almost 2 year old daughters love this song and the video. But there's more to the song than an absolutely fun video, created by the band and their fans. 

 The Digital Age is the continuation of The David Crowder Band, minus David Crowder and Mike Hogan. These guys are making some great music, and have a great "debut" album. But this song was the first I heard, and the first that caught me, and continues to get me.

 Many of us in the church focus on the rules and regulations, the should and should not. And there is a place for the rules and regulations. But stop for a second. Be still. Be quiet. Think about this. God loves you no matter what. God created you in His image, He redeemed you when you were His enemy. He forgives you EVERY TIME you repent. No questions asked. So....how do you feel when you think about that? I'm overwhelmed. I'm joyful. I'm exuberant. And that is where the heart of this song comes in.

 The song is upbeat and joyful, and the lyrics reflect that. And of course, the video does too. God has captured us with His love. God is with us at all times and hears us when we cry out. There is rescue and freedom in God's love. And as Christ followers, we are called to share this good news. Why not do it in a joyful manner?

 So, today and every day, let's go out and share the news that God's love is joyful, refreshing, and captures us in an amazing and powerful way!

Thank you, Jon Acuff

 Jon Acuff is an amazing guy. No, I haven't personally met him, although I'd love to. Through interviews and reading his book "Start" and being a part of his Facebook "Start Experiment", though, I feel like I have an insight into him. Start has changed my life. I e-mailed him and told him that, and received a response. But it's not just the book. The book was a paradigm shift, an "aha" moment for me. What has benefited me most has been the encouragement in the shots in the arm from the "Start Experiment" folks. You see, I saw a vague Facebook post from Jon about going on an adventure. I jumped in. Little did I know that my life would be transformed.

 I've always wanted to write music, but was paralyzed by fear. Why? I'm a musician. The competing with others, feelings of inadequacy, and much more held me back. So, with encouragement from folks, I've put myself out there. But, here's the funny part. Along the way, that scope and direction has changed. Through conversations with others, I'm looking at much, much more. Whether that's teaching lessons online, writing an ebook about how to teach piano lessons, putting together videos about choirs, handbells, praise bands, and other things, writing and recording music for podcasts and other needs, all doors are open. And I'm floored. None of these ideas were things that I would have thought of myself, but in conversations with people, they saw these things in me, and encouraged me to consider them.

 So what does all of this look like? Well, a whole lot of work. Which is a great thing. Deep down, I've known that I'm capable, just didn't believe in myself, or feel like I really could. Getting encouragement has been that spark to push me into doing it. Right now, it's dreaming big and figuring out what I can do. I'm working on redesigning my website and figuring out what needs to be on it. I'm figuring out what I can make videos of to teach, utilizing my experiences and knowledge to help others. I'm figuring out how to write an ebook, and put my experience in figuring out how to teach music lessons to better help others.

 This is all crazy, big, and way out there (in my mind), but it has the potential to be an absolutely amazing adventure. Because of Jon Acuff, his book "Start" and the "Start Experiment" on Facebook, my life is changed. And I thank you, Jon Acuff. You may or may not read this, but my life has been changed because of what you've done.

Thank you.

Good.....Better......Best?

 Growing up, my paternal grandmother had a saying that she would regularly share with me, and my parents tormented me by repeating it over and over again. "Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until the good is better and the better is best." Now, I do have admit that this saying is much better than the other one that my parents repeated to me, "Practice makes perfect", but both sayings drove me up the wall.

 Yet now, as an adult, I realize how important this saying is. If we are good at doing something, wonderful. How do we get better at doing it? If we get better at doing it, that's great. But how do we get even better at doing it? It's that ongoing bettering that along the way, I lost sight of.

 I stopped challenging myself to be better.

 I started settling for "good enough".

 I allowed circumstances and expectations of others to define me.


 Over the past few months, I've noticed this change in me. It hasn't been a slight change at all. It's a return to this mindset. How do I take the things that I'm good at, and I do make them better? But to not stop at making them better, how can I make them be the best they can be? This has been a challenging process on many, many, many fronts, but I see progress.

 For the next two Sundays, I am challenging myself to play one major piece on the organ for worship each Sunday that I have never played in public before. This is very scary, and I have already put in lots of work. But, I am learning to not make excuses and put in the work. The past 3 Sundays, I have played music on the organ that I challenged myself to do, and put in the work. I didn't receive much in the way of feedback, and that's fine with me. I noticed the difference. I knew how much work I put in to be the best that I could be. Could I have done better? Probably. But, that's the process of taking the good, making it better, and making it be the best it can be. And I thank God for the reminders to be faithful with the talents that He has given me.

Crazy thoughts...

 I'm pondering some really crazy and big thoughts. No, not anything like what you're thinking. Over the past couple of months, I've taken some pretty crazy and big steps already in putting myself out there as a composer and making my music available for purchase and use. What I had hoped to do initially was to connect with smaller churches, and compose music for their specific needs. That's still my intent, but it's shifting even more.

 I was asked to compose a theme for a weekly video series. I did that, and it premiers Monday! I'm super excited about that. But why couldn't I branch out to that? Another thing that was suggested to me was to make teaching videos for people to purchase and use. Whether that's for a church choir, praise team, handbells, or anything else. That's something that I had been thinking about farther down the road, yet because of the suggestion, it's come to the forefront of my mind.

 But, the question in my mind is simple. Am I trying to do too much? The flip side of that in my mind is, has God given me this diverse knowledge on different subjects and the desire to share about them to be able to do this?

 It seems, as I have been journeying down this road over the past couple of months, doors have opened. Doors that I did not expect to open. Yet, here they are. So, why couldn't these be doors to be opened? Maybe I'm supposed to be doing more with technology and teaching via Skype. Maybe I'm supposed to be writing some ideas about choirs or praise teams, or some combination of them all. I don't know. It's all been this big rush of "what ifs" that keep coming through my head. So, they're big thoughts, and maybe they're impossible. Maybe they're not. I will keep praying, and getting input from others.