I'm stuck?

    My almost 2 year old daughter Emily likes to say, "I'm stuck" a lot lately. In reality, she's not quite stuck. She may need a boost on whatever she's climbing, or her chair scooted a little farther back so she can continue to get down. But she's not really stuck.

    I've been feeling a lot like Emily lately.

    I've felt stuck.

    I feel like I'm making progress in getting healthier, challenging myself to be a better musician through practice, composing music.

    But I feel stuck.

    Why?

    As I was pondering this, the answer came to me quite quickly. When you've been as lazy as I have, not expected much of yourself, built bad habits, and quit every time a small challenge came up, it's easy to understand why I'm feeling stuck.


     My habits and expectations of myself are changing.

     I'm expecting more of myself.

     But the challenges are still there.

     The fear of quitting is still there.

     The fear of falling back into those traps of "good enough" are there

     But I'm not giving in. Just like with Emily, she needs a refocus on the bigger picture, that she's not really stuck, I need this as well. How does this happen? Encouragement from God. Encouragement from others. Digging deeper and pushing through.

     I will find creative solutions to the decreasing numbers participating in the music ministry I am called to lead.

     I will challenge myself to be a better organist and musician, putting in the time needed to prepare and practice.

    I will compose music that is challenging, beautiful and will connect those singing and playing it to God.

    I will find ways to get my name and my music out there, to connect with people on a greater scale.

    How all of this works out, time will tell. But I'm not stuck. And I'm not going to allow myself to think that. Challenged, absolutely. Stuck? No way.