Thoughts on vacation

 It's been an interesting week with forcing myself to not think about or do work relating to my full-time job this week. It's also been interesting spending a majority of time with my girls. I love them to death, but it's a reminder why I work! And it's also a positive reminder why we made the right choice in sending both to childcare starting next week. But, that concept of rest.....why is it so hard to do? I've spent some time thinking about that this week. Why do we (or me in particular) struggle with resting? For me, I think it's because of the busyness of life based in a whole lot of different things. When I was single, I wasn't as busy, or so it seemed. When I got married, it was a different kind of busy. When we had one child, it was a completely different busy. And when the second child came along, even different busy. But how to make time to rest? It takes intentionality. It takes understanding that it may not look exactly like you want it to. But for each person, taking the time to rest is imperative.

 The other interesting thing happened last night. In a conversation with my mother as my dad prepared for a heart cath procedure today, she made a comment of not being ready for him to be gone. Instinctively, my response was "well, we're only guaranteed the breath that we have. We may not be guaranteed tomorrow or the next day". This has been on my mind a bunch today. If I knew today was my last day on earth, how would I live? Would it be different? How so? And the reality is, today could be my last day on earth. No, I don't know something you don't. But God does. And He's the only one who knows if today is your last day, my last day, or anyone's last day on earth. And I'm OK with that. Of course, I would be sad to leave my wife, my two beautiful daughters, family and friends. But, I'm not living my life for this world. This isn't the end. If today is my last day, I get to be in the presence of God. I get to see my grandparents, my brother, and other family members who have gone on before me. But, if I wake up in the morning, what am I going to do differently than today? How much more grace can I show to others? How much more love can I give? How much more forgiving can I be? How much more patient can I be? All these thoughts floating through my head. I know I won't have all of the answers, but I will be continuing to wrestle with these questions.